【1993 Archives】

We all993 Archivesour faults—mine just happens to be a really, really big one.

I have never seen the original Beauty and the Beast—you know, the classic Disney picture that was first released more than a quarter of a century ago. Butwith all the hype surrounding the soon-to-be-released live-action version, which stars Emma Watson and looks it might just smash a box office record, I figured there was no better time than now to watch the enchanting fairy tale.

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So a few days ago, I downloaded the 1991 Oscar-nominated animated film. Below are my somewhat unfiltered—albeit late—thoughts while watching it for the very first time.

Please don't @ me.

SEE ALSO: Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' will probably break a box office record

1. I know the movie just started but I ALREADY HATE THE PRINCE.

2. Witch’s rose is probably the inspiration behind The Bachelor franchise.

3. But okay, if we're being honest, I do not blame the prince for rejecting the witch. He was 11 years old. Cooties are very real!

4. The book Belle borrowed is essentially the plot of this movie, is it not?

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5. As a kid who read a lot growing up, I #identify with Belle.

6. Gaston is hot but probably trash.

7. No one would climb over a house just to talk to me like Gaston does for Belle. 😓

8. Wait, yes, he’s absolute trash, no question about it.

9. There's no resemblance between Belle and her father Maurice.

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10. That being said, Maurice kinda looks like Bernie Sanders.

11. What happened to Belle’s mom…?

12. Horses are unequivocally smarter than humans. If you are doubting this fact, see Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron again.

13. How is Maurice not questioning the inanimate objects talking more than he does? Nothing talked in his provincial town.

14. Honestly, very shocked that Maurice just gave up his daughter *like that*.

15. Gaston is basically a hotter Donald Trump and needs to learn a lesson about consent, ASAP.

16. Chip might be the cutest Disney character in the world.

Via Giphy

17. This whole first impression between Belle and the Beast? So not meet cute.

18. Lumière is the wingman we all deserve in our lives.

19. The food presented to Belle does not look appetizing for having been made in an enchanted castle.

20. Gaston would look great in a choker. Very much a Matt Lauer moment there.

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21. 5 dozen eggs, Gaston?! HIGH CHOLESTEROL ALERT.

22. I don't understand why Lefou doesn't leave Gaston. [Ed. note: Wait until the live-action version, apparently.] This friendship is not reciprocal—get out.

23. Gaston is the professor of what should be a mandatory class for all—"Shoot Your Shot 101: What Not To Do."

24. How is she not a prisoner, Lumière, but a guest that’s never allowed to leave? This song should be called "BE OUR PRISONER."

Via Giphy

25. Why is Lumière the only one with a French accent? I thought this was all taking place in France.

26. If it was that easy for Belle to leave the castle when the Beast yells "get out!" then why didn't she just walk out earlier or wait for a non-snowy day to plot her escape....

27. ....oh yes, Stockholm Syndrome, that's why.

28. Belle standing up to the Beast is the best thing ever.

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29. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone," Beast says. To be fair, I would probably fall in love with the first human I see after 10 years of just inanimate objects, too.

30. When will Chip get The Talk? He clearly has an inkling of what is going on between Belle and the Beast.

31. This movie is serving personal library goals.

32. Why do almost all Disney movies all have a special mirror?

Via Giphy

33. Am I tearing up at the Beast's selflessness in letting Belle go to care for her father? Do *I* have Stockholm Syndrome?

34. So Belle would be a prisoner for the rest of her life to save her father but not marry Gaston to do the same? Clearly she forgot annulment was an option.

35. Gaston is literally always spewing #AlternativeFacts and would most definitely have a Twitter account that Anderson Cooper would mute.

36. "Take whatever booty you can find," might be the greatest line in this film.

37. Gaston's devil horse is absolutely frightening.

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38. Watching inanimate objects destroy evil humans is so satisfying.

39. Weather in this world is so confusing—one moment it's snowing, then it's gorgeous and sunny, then torrential rain. Climate change is clearly not a hoax.

40. I love how Belle is so strong she can save Beast from falling off the castle but yet couldn’t do so many other things.

41. Also, it's not lost on me that Belle is the one doing the saving and not the other way around. Yes!

42. Disney, please make more Princes with long hair. It's a great look that needs a revival.

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43. What if Mrs. Potts and Maurice got together!? Does fan fiction of this exist or nah.

44. If I were Maurice, I would be a lot more skeptical about this whole thing considering how him and the prince initially met...

45. Why did the dog and Mrs. Potts and Chip have to be put under the curse too? 😥

46. This movie was far less princess-y than I imagined and I completely understand why it's so many people's favorite of the Disney animated films.

47. And now "Be Our Guest" has been stuck in my head for for 24 hours -- and it's not going away.

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Featured Video For You

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Here's how the live-action 'Beauty and the Beast' characters compare to the original

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Topics Disney