【Secretive Boarding House】

I've about had it with Samsung. The Secretive Boarding Housecompany is taking its sweet diddly time communicating whether or not replacement Galaxy Note7 phones are safe or unsafe.

As always is the case with Samsung, the answer depends on whom you ask. More specifically, which Samsung branch you ask.

Ask Samsung Electronics America and the answer is:

"We recognize that carrier partners have stopped sales and exchanges of the Galaxy Note7 in response to reports of heat damage issues, and we respect their decision. We are working diligently with authorities and third party experts and will share findings when we have completed the investigation. Even though there are a limited number of reports, we want to reassure customers that we are taking every report seriously. If we determine a product safety issue exists, Samsung will take immediate steps approved by the CPSC to resolve the situation."

Ask Samsung UK, as Business Insiderdid and the answer is:

"Yes, the replacement Note7 devices are safe to use. All new Note7 devices feature a green battery icon to give customers reassurance that their device is safe to charge."

Who the heck are consumers supposed to believe? Do you keep using your replacement phones, which are supposed to be safe because they have a green battery icon, even while more reports pop up about them also exploding?

Do you listen to wireless carriers, who have stopped selling the "fixed" replacement phones, and get a refund or exchange it for another phone that won't blow up?

Do you believe Samsung has halted Note7 production or do you believe the company is merely "temporarily adjusting the Galaxy Note7 production schedule in order to take further steps to ensure quality and safety matters."

I want to be calm, but I can't. There is such a thing as too much patience.

Not only has Samsung botched its Note7, but it has bungled its messaging to consumers.

The company keeps saying safety is its priority, but in light of its stubbornly noncommunicative statements, it's hard to believe it really is.

At first Samsung reportedly didn't go through the proper recall protocol with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Then it did.

Then in South Korea, the company pushed out a software update that limited defective Note7s to charging to 60 percent to prevent overheating. "Safe" Note7s, presumably ones with batteries made by Amperex Technology Limited and not by Samsung SDI, were then marked with an "S" sticker.

Following the official U.S. Note7 recall and apology from Samsung Electronics America president and COO Tim Baxter, Samsung Electronics America senior vice president of product strategy and marketing Justin Denison told Mashablethere would be no stickers or green battery icons.

Four days later, the Samsung announced "safe" replacements would indeed have a black square on the phone label located on the outside of the box and a green battery icons (instead of white) to denote they contained safe batteries.

Meanwhile, Samsung is now reportedly sending "incomprehensible emails" to Note7 owners.

The most damning evidence of all is also the shadiest we've seen. Kentucky resident Michael Klering told CBS local news channel WKYT a Samsung representative accidentally sent him a message after his "safe" replacement Note7 inexplicably caught fire. According to Klering, the message was (bolded for emphasis):

"Just now got this. I can try and slow him downif we think it will matter, or we just let him do what he keeps threatening to do and see if he does it."

It sounds like something out of a spy movie and reeks of conspiracy if the message was indeed sent by a Samsung representative.

And we still have absolutely no idea what exactly is wrong with the Note7 that they keep exploding -- outside of the vague "lithium-ion battery in the Galaxy Note7 smartphones can overheat and catch fire, posing a serious burn hazard to consumers."

Samsung's bigger problem right now isn't merely the fact that its Note7 is ruined or that its image is battered, but that it doesn't appear in control.

It's as if the company is having a panic attack and is completely frozen, unable to move swiftly to mobilize and deliver a united message to confused and upset consumers in this disastrous time.

I get that Samsung is a massive conglomerate and Samsung Mobile is only one division within the company, but if the company can't even get on the same page in a time of crisis, then why should consumers trust their new replacement phones aren't just waiting to explode?

I don't think I can be any more blunt about this: Get your sh*t together, Samsung.