【2011 Archives】

If you were raised in the '90s011 Archives it's not that far of a reach to say that television played a sizable role in your upbringing. Luckily for us '90s kids, we just happened to grow up with some of the best television in recent memory and everything seemed to have a specific life lesson embedded into its content.

For instance, Kenan & Kelwas packed with life lessons. Whether it was "don't do drugs" or "Kel loves orange soda (LOL)," each episode seemed to hammer home a point about life. But there are just some things that, alas, it was unable to teach us.

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Here are six things that I unfortunately did not learn from Kenan & Kel.

1. Time is a precious currency that you cannot un-spend.

We all know that money is valuable. However, time is even more valuable and, unlike money, once you spend it, you can’t get it back. This is a delicate concept that Teen Nick sitcom Kenan & Kelfailed to broach and make easily digestible for my young, growing mind.

Time is free, but it is also priceless. This is a subject you must learn, regrettably, from a source other than Kenan & Kel.

2. Company stock may have special tax treatment.

If your 401(k) plan has an employee stock ownership plan within it, and you own a great amount of company stock, a special tax rule may apply to you. This tax rule, which is never even touched by the children's show Kenan & Kel, is referred to as net unrealized appreciation. At retirement, it allows you to allocate company stock and only pay regular income tax on the cost basis of the stock. Then, as you sell the stock off, you can usually pay tax on the gain at the capital gains tax rate, which is lower than the regular income tax rate.

This is but one of many things that Kenan & Kelfailed to teach me.

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3. The ever growing feeling of isolation.

As you age, your social circumstances shift, and you may find that making friends becomes harder and harder.

Gone are the days of going to school, where friends seemed to be built into the experience, and your coworkers, though fine, just don’t seem to resonate with you. As you realize this, you may find yourself spending more time alone at home, feeling as if you, and only you, are missing out on the experience of "life."

I was unfortunately unable to extract how to deal with this complex emotion from the '90s kid’s show Kenan & Kel.

4. You may not feel validated by your job.

When you were a child, you may have fantasized about adult life as a famous rock star or perhaps a brave fire fighter. Instead you might find yourself a 9-to-5 office drone, clocking in precious hours of your life to work for a company you don’t necessarily believe in. Truly, the best laid schemes o’ mice and men gang aft agley...

The lighthearted comic mischief of Kenan Rockmore and Kel Kimble in no way prepared me for this ceaselessly growing feeling of invalidation and despondence.

5. The Iran Hostage Crisis.

This is not necessarily about adulthood, but I find it troubling that I had to look elsewhere to learn even one thing about the Iran Hostage Crisis, in which 52 American diplomats and citizens were held hostage after students loyal to the Iranian Revolution took hold of the U.S. embassy in Tehran.

As far as I know, the Iran Hostage Crisis has no place in the Kenan & Kel canon.

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6. What to do in the event that you’ve been wrongly accused of regicide.

You may at some point in your life feel compelled to travel to Nepal with your old high school friend Andy for a summer trip. You may also find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time during the assassination of King Birendra Bir Bikram Shah, and even though you had nothing to do with the crime, you may nonetheless be arrested for it and charged with it. Being kept in a Nepali prison while you await trial for regicide is not an ideal way to spend your summer. Yet, in the entire 62 episode breadth of teen sitcom Kenan & Kel, this specific situation goes, lamentably, unexplored.

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