【Kalakal (2025)】

While you might have Kalakal (2025)survived Thanksgiving with your Trump-loving relatives, Christmas is right around the corner and this time, you don't have to just tolerate them, but alsogive them presents.

SEE ALSO: 7 extremely useful sites and apps to help you organize in Trump's America

Luckily, Mashablecares about you and this dilemma you're facing. We dug around the dark corners of the internet to find some of the weirdest Trump-related gifts for your family so you don't have to.

Remember, the amount of enjoyment may vary, but it's the thought that counts, right?

For your cousin who needs help with his hygiene

We all have that one cousin who just refuses to shower for any number of reasons (too busy playing Warcraft, too lazy to care) so be charitable and give them a bit of help.

Sure, you could shell out $50 for this Trump-branded toiletry gift set -- including deodorant! -- or Trump's line of "Success" aftershave.

But let's start with basics: soap.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

For only $9.95, you can give your cousin the gift of cleanliness by rubbing Donald's face all over his or her body ("Fresh Rain" scent!). If that doesn't leave then smelling bigly fresh, there's probably no hope.

Related: maybe consider the Trump condoms, too, because you never know, they could meet someone nice!

For your teenage nephew who thinks Three Wolves & Moon is too subtle

Trump likes flashy. We know this because everything he owns is encased in gold. You know who else likes flashy? Teenage boys. They're idiots who want their T-shirts to be as complex as possible. Three Wolves & Moon? Please, that's so 2008.

What he needs is a heavily-armed Trump riding into battle, led by a bald eagle while a giant American flag flies behind him.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Plus it comes in THREE COLORS!!!

Mashable Trend Report Decode what’s viral, what’s next, and what it all means. Sign up for Mashable’s weekly Trend Report newsletter. By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Thanks for signing up!

For your uncle who has an unhealthy obsession with Russia

That guy, always on the message boards with his Russian hacker pals. They're probably good peeps. Maybe they'll come visit now that Russia and the U.S. are going to enter in to warmer relations thanks to the Putin & Trump love fest.

Better make sure that kid is prepared with this shirt that not only puts Trump in a flattering, masculine light, but also pays homage to Putin.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

For your pro wrestling-loving brother

Your bro loves Trump. He's making America great again and draining the swamp. Your brother also loves pro wrestling and can tell you all about how Trump is in the WWE Hall of Fame. And now that former WWE CEO Linda McMahon is a part of Trump's cabinet, how about some wrestling DVDs?

Your brother probably remembers WrestleMania X-7 pretty well; it's the one where Linda McMahon comes out of a catatonic state just in time to kick her cheating husband Vince in the groin, costing him his "street fight" match against son Shane.

But does he remember the Battle of the Billionaires from WrestleMania 23 when Umaga (fighting for Vince McMahon) and Bobby Lashley (fighting for Trump) faced off -- with the losing billionaire having his head shaved? And, oh, that sweet, sweet twist with Stone Cold Steve Austin at the end...

For your parents

Maybe you don't want to go all in on a hyyyuge gift for your parents. Maybe you want to keep it simple.

For mom, try the Trump Chia Pet. Easy to maintain and easy to shove out of the way when the neighbors (the ones, she'll whisper to you, "who voted for that Stein lady") come over.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

For dad, though, you need something befitting the outspoken man of the house who took way too much pride in hammering in that Trump/Pence lawn sign. For him? The official Trump store has just the thing: giant foam Trump thumbs.

For the holiday loving grandparents

Can't afford that pricey Trump Hat Christmas ornament (even though it's available at a discount?) Try a Trump snow globe.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

As it gets older, the snow will turn yellow and stop swirling as much but that's just weather because, as we all know, climate change isn't real.

For your pet-loving aunt

Aw, your aunt loves her pets. All 15 of them! So you've got several gifts to buy. For her pooch, how about this simple, tasteful Trump dog sweater?

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Get it? Dog-ald Trump? Deport the cats? It's Trump's greatest hits translated for pets. Hilarious!

And for her 14 cats, they can all share this custom Donald Trump cat-scratching post that keeps them occupied and gives you a sense of secret satisfaction.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

For your unruly, rebellious, rawking niece

Gone are the days of tea parties and dolls. Your niece is growing up fast into a rebellious Coors Light-slamming, tattoo-inking, "You don't know me"-yelling rebel. She's a bit too young to really appreciate the finer points of Ted Nugent ammo, though.

Fortunately, Kid Rock is on itwith his new line of pro-Trump clothing. Grab a "Make America Badass Again" hat and pair it with the classic "United States of America / Dumbfuckistan" t-shirt for the perfect look.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

---

Featured Video For You

---

Gigi Hadid is in trouble for her Melania Trump impersonation

---