We'll say it: it's hard to be pornogrpahic eroticismyoung.
The hardest part of being young but trying to be an adult? Interacting with your super in order to make the apartment you’re privileged enough to have work properly.
Ken, our super, has been nothing but kind, but sometimes the thought of having to call him up isn’t worth getting the problem solved.
We’ll do almost anything to avoid a social interaction, even if that means leaving things unsaid between us and Ken (and putting our lives at risk by having no heat or locks on our windows).
SEE ALSO: 11 tips for pooping at work when someone's in the next stallHere are all of the things we should’ve said to our super in 2016, and what we’ll hopefully say in the year to come.
Back in March, our pipe was leaking and we didn’t tell Ken about it because sending a text message just felt like too much of a social interaction. He stopped by because he saw a pool of water coming out from under our front door, but we still didn’t tell him. It was just like too much, ya know?
August: the month of the thieves. Our windows don’t lock properly, and we’ve been meaning to tell Ken about it. But we didn’t. And then some thieves climbed on in, stole our laptops, and leapt back out. We didn’t report them to the police, and we certainly didn’t tell our super that we needed locks on our windows. We just figured, we’re safe if we never get new laptops.
October is the spookiest month, which might explain why we were so willing put up with a mysterious, loud beep that went off every 10 minutes. Ken posted a few notices in the lobby, asking residents to alert him regarding leads on the annoying beeping sound. So, the two of us spent a whole weekend investigating, and finally found the culprit to be a smoke detector in the hallway on the 5th floor. But did we tell Ken? Of course not! The mere idea of sending him a text stressed us out!
In November, just as winter was gearing up in New York, all our friends started posting on Facebook about their sweltering heaters. We couldn’t relate. Ken stopped by to ask if our heater was working properly. He could see the breath coming out of our mouths in the cold air. He could see that we were both wearing Snuggies. He asked if our heater was working, and for some unexplained reason, we enthusiastically nodded and said “Yes!” So he left and we’re still freezing.
Just last week, our friends came over for a potluck. Dennie was coming from like an hour away, so he asked us to prep the oven to heat up his chicken fried rice. Just hours before the potluck, our oven broke. So, we called one of our moms and asked her to text Ken to come and fix it. We hid in the bathroom when he arrived so that we wouldn’t have to interact with him. But in order to test the oven, Ken made a lasagna in our kitchen. He brought his own ingredients, but he used our pan and utensils. He washed everything and put it away when he was done. Even worse, now Ken comes over every night to make lasagna.
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